Anyone Who Would Want to Punch The Earl of Pimpwitch Must Be Raving Mad

Assault Upon British Aristocrat Most Immoderate!

Why in the name of all that’s good and proper would this hooligan, Jon “War Machine” Koppenhaver, want to put the boot in to a member of the English aristocracy?

This wretched Koppenhaver person must have gone straight off his nut – in a manner of speaking – to wish this refined and landed gent harm.

And after everything The Earl did for him, introducing the ruffian to all those accommodating and pleasantly pneumatic young debutantes and such.

What’s next on this Koppenhaver buffoon’s agenda? An eye-gouge to the Earl of Shrewsbury? A kick in the bollocks for the Lord High Constable?

Madness.

For shame, young Koppenhaver. You really must learn to conduct yourself properly when out on the High Street…